


things to do

by oceanrosiex



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 18:54:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7399639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceanrosiex/pseuds/oceanrosiex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima has a bad habit of starting to-do lists, but never finishing nor completing the list or the things to do. </p><p>Figures that it would take him like, 4 years to finish his first one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	things to do

**Author's Note:**

> i finally get to introduce my oc! he's super sweet and adorable and you'll get to see more of him soon!!!

  
  
  


**THINGS TO DO THAT WILL IMPROVE YOU, YOUR LIFE, AND YOUR LOVE**

  
  
  


  1. _Don’t fall in love with three people. You can’t handle that. Especially not those_ ** _three_** _people._



  
  
  


Tsukishima realizes it as he finally writes it out in the back of his spiral notebook on his bed at 11:11 at night. He thought he could though. He imagined that the sheer realization that he might _like_ **_three_** **_people,_** was so preposterous that it went right over his head. Yet no matter how hard Tsukishima could try - _it wouldn't be enough._ He wasn't satisfied with only the thought of such a relationship and at the same time, he scared himself for taking the task of loving different people so normally. 

 

I confuse myself, Tsukishima would think to himself a lot. But then again, he was fine with it. With everything in his life going so orderly and well, Tsukishima thought he could handle the idea (of you know, loving three other people). He could handle that.

 

He could handle the bare minimum of the idea. He could comprehend the basics. He understood the concept. But he thought the details hit too close to home, so he ignored them all together.

  
  


(Well.)

  
  


If anything, the idea that had begun spinning in Tsukishima's head were so difficult they became near easy to ignore - almost. First, they all lived in the same area, and could easily travel to see each other and hang out with each other  _ but Tsukishima couldn't because he lived in the accursed Miyagi Prefecture. _

 

Second, they were all older than him (but a year or two was completely fine, a small nagging voice in his head said). Third, they were already in college and at this rate, he would be behind them in almost...everything really. 

 

Fourth, he doesn't know squat about polyamory and doubts that the idiots he loves know either. 

 

So as he continues to think about all the things wrong with loving those three people, Tsukishima can usually lay back down in his bed, with his headphones on - and figure that the idea is too difficult. It can't be done. So he should stop trying. 

 

(He should really stop making lists too. He has several up on his wall already, and he has a habit of starting them and never finishing them or completing them. It's a bad thing, Tsukishima has concluded.)

  
  
  


  1. _You should practice more. They don't crown a peasant in place of a king for_ ** _nothing_** _._



  
  
  


So Tsukishima practices more. He stays after practice, telling the younger years that he'll clean up tonight (But you always clean up Captain!? Yeah, I know and if you don't want to - _ you'll  _ **_leave_ ** .) Then after he convinces the first and second years to leave, he has to work on getting the  _ third years _ to leave and that's absolute hell.

 

Tsukishima remembers the newest addition to his newest list faintly as he stands behind a screaming Hinata and Kageyama. "Good job." He said in monotone. "You made another good point. Now please get out of the gym." Kageyama and Hinata both turn to him and nearly melts Tsukishima's face off with their joy. 

 

"DID YOU SEE THAT TSUKISHIMA?!" "Yes I did. I said good job."

 

"THAT WAS AMAZING TSUKISHIMA OHMYGOD!!" "Impressive. You guys are done, right?"

 

"OI, HINATA LETS GO ONE MORE-"

 

"YEAH ONE MORE ONE MORE ONE MORE-"

 

Tsukishima firmly put his hands on the third years and drags them out to the door, pushes them out and closes & locks the door. The screaming starts again, but at least this time Tsukishima can tolerate it through the buffer of the door. He can't really hear what the two outside are saying, but he ignores it and prays that they'll go away soon. 

 

As soon as Tsukishima wheels out a new cart of balls, the screaming is gone (which is a new record from last time - they waited for 20 minutes outside yelling profanities) and he can let out a breath of relief. 

 

Everything's quiet. It's nice.

 

So Tsukishima, captain of Karasuno, practices more than just the requirement for a captain. He noticed that his serves were weak in the last practice match, so he works on those the most, the sound of his hand hitting the ball constantly resounding throughout the room. He serves, over and over again. He loses himself in practice, ignoring the fact that he has to go home soon and see his wall full of unfinished lists and then look on his desk at the newest one and be reminded that he loves three other people.

 

Who also play volleyball. Who helped him become captain, even though they didn't have to do anything. Who are all in college now, only the dumbest one continuing his volleyball dream. 

 

Tsukishima serves into the net. He stops. He shakes his head and sits down on the gym floor. For a moment, he clutches at his hair distractedly, and frowns. It's getting long, he realizes, pulling some bangs to peer at. Too long for comfort, he decides. He could probably get it cut this summer, when he had time and when it was hot outside. 

 

After a moment of not really thinking, a sudden thought passes through his mind. What will Ak- Tsukishima shuts that down quickly. He can't do that, he harshly reminds himself. 

 

No matter what, do not think of their names.

  
  
  


  1. _You don't think of their names because then everything will become_ ** _real_** _. It won't be_ ** _just_** _an idea anymore, and that is_ ** _not_** _good._



  
  
  


So he can't think of their names because if he does, he's fucked and he knows it. Who knows what he'll do? (If provoked enough, he might be convinced to get on a train to Tokyo and show up at their doors with a shitty confession in mind.)

 

Despite his sound resolution though, it seems as though fate has something horrible planned for him for the rest of his life. 

 

"TSUKISHIMAAAAAAA-"

 

"What Hinata." He looked up from his book at his overexcited teammate. The classroom hadn't even flinched at Hinata's yelling, already used to it at this point in the year. (To be honest, they were just grateful that he wasn't in the same class as Kageyama because that would be the worst class ever - PDA and screaming did not make the best combination. Poor me, Tsukishima bitterly thought, who has to deal with it everyday at practice.)

 

"Didya hear?! Kenma is coming to visit me!!" Tsukishima froze. "And he's bringing some old alumni with him, so we're gonna play a practice match, then we're gonna go hang out somewhere after!!"

 

 _Old alumni?_ _N_ ** _o. No no no nO NO._**

 

He was doing so good. He hadn't thought about the list for a couple of days, and he had ignored the nagging voices in his head for a while now. He couldn't....he couldn't just lose everything he had all at once. He had given up on that list, it was too difficult to even think about making it into a reality...

 

"Tsukishima? Yo, are you even listening to me?" He snapped out of his thoughts and looked up at an expectant Hinata. "Sorry, what?" His voice felt weaker than usual. Hinata looked suspicious, but crossed his arms. "Me and Kage are playing, and I know Yama-chan will want to play too. Some of our old senpais told me they want to come. And since you're the captain, you have to play."

 

After a moment, Tsukishima looks down. "Hey, which Nekoma alumni are going?"

 

Hinata shrugs and takes his seat next to Tsukishima (class was about to start, and Tsukishima  _ really _ needed to finish the assigned reading in the book but  _ godamn it Hinata _ ) and leaned back in his chair. "I dunno. Probably the third years when we were first years-" Tsukishima wants to throw something. "When is that happening?" He asked shakily and Hinata told him they were coming next week during winter break and immediately Tsukishima sighs in relief, because he has interviews next week in Tokyo and thank god he had an excuse. 

 

"Sorry Hinata. I can't make it. I have plans in Tokyo next week." It was technically just one day in Tokyo but Hinata didn't have to know that.

 

"WHAT?! THE ENTIRE WEEK?!!" Yep, the entire week, Tsukishima snickered in his head.

 

"Oi! Pipe down, we're in the middle of class!!!"

 

In an intense whisper, Hinata hisses "Tsukishima, what the hell type of plans do you have in Tokyo next week that you would avoid playing?"

 

Tsukishima doesn't respond and focuses on class, only faintly aware of the hole Hinata was burning into the back of his head. 

 

Of course, he would have to deal with Hinata and Kageyamas whining for a while, but if he could keep his plans for the future a secret, then he could deal with his overbearing friends.

  
  
  


  1. _Don't screw up your interview. This is your chance to explore the world -_ ** _your way, your rules_** _._



  
  
  


It was strange. Throughout the entire train ride, he almost expected any three of them to pop out of their seats and attack him. He was tense the entire ride and hoped his aura was threatening enough so that nobody would come up to him. 

 

Maybe it wasn't even them. Maybe it was just nerves.

 

Tsukishima first learned about the program through one of Akiteru's friends. It wasn't a studying abroad program, but something entirely different and amazing as she had described. She had taken the exam, excelled in her interviews and was awarded the grant. The grant allowed a group of students who received it to travel around Europe and North America for a year. They would travel to prime locations for tourist intentions and to analyze the western world. After one year of traveling and learning on the all-expenses paid for trip, the students would come back to Japan with new mindsets and start their second year of college. 

 

Akiteru's friend had enjoyed that year thoroughly. There was one night of his second year in high school when she was over at the household and she spoke of wonders that Tsukishima couldn't help but fall in love with. 

 

And so it happened. He fell more in love with the idea of traveling the world, and to do such a thing on his own with all expenses already paid - it was a dream. 

 

He was already so close to making it a reality. 

 

The exam hadn't been an issue. He had studied all throughout summer (pissing off the volleyball team, but it was worth the near-perfect score in the end) and all he had left were the interviews.

 

The dreaded interviews.

 

You could study for an exam. You could be smart in academics and analysis. But the number one reason why people didn't even bother with the program was because of the dreaded interviews.

 

Apparently, you were sent into a minefield - if you pissed off the person, or even if you gave them a bad vibe, you were done. Stuttering or stammering expelled your chances immediately. The interviewer was never kind, ensuring the people who were given the grant were honest to good people who really deserved it.

 

With his record, Tsukishima had every reason to be nervous. What if the person asked invasive questions and attacked him at every toss and turn? What if the person hated his hair? What if his clothes weren’t nice enough? Or was he underdressed?! (Quickly, he glanced at his outfit - white shirt, grey sweater, blue blazer, black pants, nice shoes - and figured it was fine. He had spent two hours on it after all.)

 

He took a deep breath. He really wanted this. He really wanted this. 

 

The train slowed down, and Tsukishima grabbed his bag. The train doors opened, and he stepped into the crowded station. He had been here before several times, so he knew his way around fairly well. He immediately walked towards the exit. The interview was in two hours and Tsukishima had no other choice but to walk to the university. 

 

It was cold, being the beginning of winter, and Tsukishima bitterly wished that he had brought a bigger coat. But he sucked it up and continued to walk.

 

Tokyo was nice, Tsukishima always thought to himself. Tokyo reminded him of an urban life that was very different from the countryside, making it almost attractive to him in a way. 

 

Faintly, he remembered a recent list he made about people he would consider moving in with. Yamaguchi was essentially the only person on the list… Tsukishima would ask him about apartments in Tokyo soon… at some point… maybe.

 

Tsukishima kept his head down, headphones blasting in his ears so he could focus.

 

You want this. You want this so bad, and you have worked incredibly hard to get it. 

 

You can do it.

 

This isn’t about anybody else.

  
  


Just you.

  
  
  


  1. _Stop doing things for other people. And ignore them when they say you don’t give enough to other people._ ** _How would they know? They’re not you._**



  
  
  


Tsukishima smiles and sits in the chair the man tells him to sit down in. The office is small, but overcrowded with countless Western artifacts and souvenirs (he’s already in love with the memory-pulling/inducing feeling the room radiates).

 

All of a sudden, the man turns to him and smiles and speaks in perfect English. “Tsukishima Kei, pleasure to meet you. How are you today?” The man is fairly young - if Tsukishima wasn’t so nervous, he would calculate the man's age to be only a few years older than himself.

 

“I’m fine, thank you. How are you?”

 

“Great, actually.” The man smiles brightly, sticking out his hand for Tsukishima to shake. “My name is Lee Makito but you can call me Maki, and I’ll be your interviewer today!” Tsukishima wonders what type of family name Lee is in Japan, but quickly pushes his daydreaming out of his head to shake the man’s hand.

 

Already he looks pleased. “I’m glad you know how to shake a good handshake! You’d be surprised how many times I do that at the beginning of the interview and students fail to comprehend what’s happening.” 

 

Tsukishima could paint a picture of the flaming mess that was his mind and was fairly sure that it’s ridiculousness could achieve many incredible things in the art world. Wasn’t the interviewer supposed to be harsh? And strict? Tsukishima was honestly expecting an old geezer who pointed out every flaw and didn’t let a single positive thing slip out of his mouth. This man, Maki, was the complete opposite of what Akiteru’s friend had warned him about. 

 

In fact, Tsukishima was so blown away, that his mind could calm down a couple of notches and realize how cute the man was.

 

(The white shirt with sleeves rolled up with jeans was really western, but also...kinda adorable.)

 

“Thank you Mr. Lee.” Tsukishima manages to get out without choking. Maki smiles brightly at the use of english in Tsukishima’s speech.

 

“You’re being very impressive Tsukishima...and it’s only been five minutes.” Maki’s smile only seems to grow and he starts to write things down in his notebook. “But really…” Tsukishima notices how very endless the man’s dark eyes seem to be.

 

“Let’s get this interview started.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“First, I’d like to ask you what you think your best quality is.”

  
  
  


Silence. Then Tsukishima smiles and opens his mouth.

  
  
  


_ “The best thing about you is your intuition,” the crazy bed head speaks. The striped owl head pokes his head up and yawns. “It’s true.” He mumbles sleepily and even the fourth body shifts and drapes his arms over Tsukishima’s chest, mumbling “Why are you even telling him. It’s obvious.” _

 

_ Tsukishima gets angry all of a sudden. “Why intuition? I don’t get it. It’s not obvious.” _

 

_ Bed head sighs. “You two are too impatient in the morning after a sleepover. Chill out.” _

 

_ “We will not.”  _

 

_ Owl head giggles. “Simultaneous response. Impressive.” _

 

_ Bed head flicks Owl head’s forehead and turns back to Tsukishima with eyes that seem to squeeze his chest without actually doing anything.  _

 

_ “It’s not obvious because Tsukki’s intuition is all about reading others. In volleyball, your game sense is incredible because you can almost predict people’s actions, even if they’re complete strangers. It’s like that outside of volleyball too. You don’t choose to get along with people, but if and when you do - you can immediately make them feel at ease, because you’re adapting to them. It’s really quite admirable.” _

 

_ Tsukishima is blushing but stubborn. “How is that good? Are you saying-” _

 

_ “Tsukki, he’s giving you a major compliment. Take it.” Owl head sings, and bed head lovingly kisses the spot where he flicked earlier to thank him. _

 

_ Tsukishima can’t stop the red feeling - this heat that is spreading from his head to chest, branching out and even reaching his toes.  _

 

_ Eventually, the fourth body yawns and gets up too, and Tsukishima mourns the lack of weight of him on his chest. _

 

_ “Yeah.” the fourth body speaks. “I see it too. Tsukki’s good with people because he’s so good himself.” _

 

_ Tsukishima is stammering and shaking his head. “I-i’m really not! Intuition?! That’s the b-best you could think of? I’m n-nothing else to you?” _

 

_ Bed head looks at him curiously. “Why? Did you want to be something else that you aren’t for the sake of others?” _

 

_ It was in that statement that Tsukishima realized how bad of an idea this whole thing was.  _

 

_ “I’m leaving.” The three immediately shoot up, helplessly watching Tsukishima put his clothes back on from the day before. Bed head knows he must have said something wrong. Owl head looks sad and fourth body closes his eyes and holds back a sigh. "Will you be back before camp is over?" _

 

_ Tsukishima stands by the door and tells himself to stop shaking.  _

 

_ "I'll put it on a things-to-do list." _

 

_ And he leaves the room.  _

 

_ Despite the fact that they just had an innocent sleepover the night before, this sure felt like he was leaving them after a one-night stand.  _

 

_ It's too complicated for them to understand. He's too complicated for them to understand. _

 

_ Just intuition? Tsukishima always thought he was more than that. He wanted to be more than just that. _

 

_ And when bed head asked him that last question... How could Tsukishima possibly explain the turmoil in his mind? _

 

_ How could he explain that he wanted to be so much more for them as they were so much more for him? How could he possibly explain his feelings? How could he possibly be in a relationship with those people? _

 

_ His head spun in circles and circles and there was a throbbing in his chest and he had to sit down on the staircase of the school. _

 

_ It was too hard. He couldn't fall in love with them, because it was just too difficult. Everything was too difficult.  _

 

_ Tsukishima shakily stood back up again, with a new goal in mind. _

 

_ When he got home from this training camp, he would make another things to do list.  _

 

_ He laughed and tried not to cry. It seems as though making those lists and never finishing them were the only best quality he could think of. _

  
  
  


  1. _When someone compliments you, don't get your hopes up. Accept it, then move on -_ ** _because_** _things can always happen to_ ** _change_** _someone's mind._



  
  
  


“That concludes our interview.” They both stand up and Tsukishima feels the tension slide away from his mind and body, replaced with exhaustion and content.

 

It wasn’t horrible. It wasn’t a trainwreck. Tsukishima smiles a genuine smile as he shakes Maki’s hand. “Thank you so much.” He says, and Maki smiles back at him.

 

“You did really well. I’m not really supposed to tell you stuff like this but…” Maki shrugs. “I honestly see no problem with letting you into the program.”

 

Tsukishima feels his heart soar. Maki winks at him, and walks with him to the door. “I hope to see you soon.” He says, and Tsukishima can barely contain his excitement. “Yes, thank you so much!”

 

They shake hands one more time and Tsukishima steps out of the office.

 

The door closes behind him and Tsukishima lets out a breath of relief.

 

"Tsukishima?"

 

His breath catches in his throat.

 

He turns and Akaashi is standing further down the hallway, with a surprised face, in a sweater that he immediately recognized as Kuroo's. 

 

All his defenses come crashing down. He doesn't say anything. He  _ can't _ say anything.

 

"Tsukishima." He calls a little louder. Some people walking by look at him weird.

 

If he runs now, he can pretend he doesn't see him.

 

So Akaashi calls his name again and starts to walk forward and Tsukishima turns and starts to speed walk to the train station. 

 

Akaashi yells, "Wait, Tsukishima!"

 

He puts his headphones on. He pulls out his phone and pretends to forget he exists for a while.

 

Then somebody grabs his shoulder.

 

He turns around, unprepared for what he was going to say to Akaashi.

 

But it's Maki, out of breath, who's got his hands on his knees. He laughs a little, and stands up. "Sorry about that." He giggles. "But I forgot to get your number. I need it for contact information." He laughs sheepishly. "I know it sounds romantic, and I'm sorry but it's not, I swear." 

 

In any other situation, Tsukishima would be pissed off. But Tsukishima was very glad to be distracted and took off his headphones. 

 

(Akaashi was still there though. He was watching. And listening.)

 

"Oh yeah, it's no problem." Tsukishima smiles and Maki sighs in relief. "Okay, thanks so much. I made the mistake here, so again I'm sorry." Tsukishima waves his hand. "No, no, it's no problem." He takes Makis phone and puts his contact information in, and steadily watches Akaashi out of the corner of his eye. 

 

Akaashi's eyes are wide. His mouth is open and he looks...scared.

 

There's a dull throb in his heart. Similar to the dull throb he felt in his chest two years ago when he left the three of them at their last training camp.

 

Maki talks some more but Tsukishima can't really concentrate. His eyes watch as Akaashi takes in Maki's excited talking and slowly backs away.

 

Tsukishima watches Akaashi pull out his phone and walk down the other end of the hallway, tapping buttons rapidly.

 

He doesn't make any move to stop him. 

 

Maki finishes and smiles. "Anyways, sorry again! Thank you for understanding!" He turns and walks back to his office, waving and Tsukishima waves back.

 

With a sickening feeling as Tsukishima turns and starts to walk back to the train station, he realizes that Akaashi goes to the same college that he’s planning to go to. 

  
  
  


  1. _Worst comes to worst, there’s always_ ** _community college_** _._



  
  
  


Tsukishima actually wants to slap himself for even thinking that. He’s worked so damn hard to get to this college, and yeah right he’s gonna let his feelings and emotions control his future. 

 

He can hide, he can avoid. It’s not hard to escape somebody on a college campus. Tsukishima figures he can do it. It was only Akaashi anyways. If it was Bokuto or Kuroo, community college was probably the better proposition if he wanted to survive. 

 

But he wasn’t saying Akaashi couldn’t make him weak. Over everything, Akaashi was like his second half. The two were similar and yet unique in their silence and in their appearance. Because of this, he understood Tsukishima's body movements the most compared to Kuroo and Bokuto. It was quite a problem, that Akaashi was attending the same college he was planning to attend.

 

But he shook his head, and put his headphones back in. It’s okay. He can handle it. He just needs to think about this one step at a time. 

 

Tsukishima decides to visit a mall on the way back to the station. His train doesn't leave till 7:00 tonight (His mom had asked him why he was staying so late and Tsukishima said he just needed a little vacation) so he has time to kill. 

 

There’s a coffee store that Tsukishima visited once, when he was spending a weekend with Akiteru last year. He had gotten a delicious green-tea mocha then, and was feeling fairly famished. He kept walking, and soon opened the door, hearing a comforting sound of a bell, alerting a young girl at the bar of his presence.

 

“Hello! Welcome!” Tsukishima actually smiles a little at her. He honestly feels pretty good after that interview, despite the whole Akaashi thing. His good mood is showing.

 

“Hi. May I have the green tea mocha and the strawberry shortcake?” The girls behind the counter giggle at his order, and at this point Tsukishima doesn’t even care how gay he must seem like.

 

(Wait. He is gay.)

 

He finds a nice table in the back corner of the adorable homely cafe to sit in and after a couple of minutes, a sweetly smiling girl takes his order to him and he thanks her with a genuine smile. 

 

Then somebody says “Excuse me.” and the girl blushes, moving out of the way quickly and said person pulls out a chair across from Tsukishima and sits down, dropping their bag on the floor, and Tsukishima’s eyes only have to look up for a split second before he chokes.

 

“Oh my god, is he okay?” Sweet-smiling girl rushes back to the corner, very worried about the hot blonde, but also very intimidated by the hot black-haired guy who gives her a small exasperated smile. “He’s fine.” He says in a gentle voice, patting hot blonde on the back. “He does this a lot.” 

 

Sweet-smiling girl gets some sort of memo from hot black-hair in his eyes and rushes back to her squealing friends behind the counter.

 

Tsukishima thinks his vision is blurry, even with his trusty glasses on. 

 

“Breathe.” He says and Tsukishima does, but his whole body is shaking. It takes a while for him to calm down, and adjust his glasses, and to look him in the perfect eyes.

 

“You startled me.” Tsukishima says quietly, and his throat feels so dry but his mocha and cake look incredibly unappetizing right now.

 

“You surprised me.” Akaashi seems to have no problem with pulling out his own water bottle from his bag and taking a long drink. His phone is on the table, and Tsukishima watches a group chat go crazy with notifications. He says nothing and Akaashi puts the water bottle down.

 

“You never told us what college you wanted to attend.” Akaashi says quietly, and Tsukishima finds the window behind fine black hair very interesting.

 

“You never talked to us about your future. We wondered a lot.” He continued, still searching for attention in Tsukishima’s eyes.

 

“Well, I was only a first-year.” Tsukishima cordially responds. “I didn’t really have any plans for the future.”

 

Akaashi doesn’t say anything at first, then smiles sadly at Tsukishima. “I guess you’re not playing volleyball anymore?”

 

“I’m actually the captain of Karasuno, surprisingly enough.”

 

Akaashi has a nice surprised look on his face. “Wow. Congrats.”

 

“Thanks. Don’t tell Bokuto.”

 

“I won’t, cus you should tell him yourself.”

 

Tsukishima doesn’t say anything and finally takes a sip of his mocha. 

 

“Why were you with that guy?” Akaashi is trying to be subtle, but with his exceptional intuition, Tsukishima knows what Akaashi is worried about. Or so he thinks he knows.

 

“Do you know who he is?” Tsukishima asks. “I’ve seen him around, but truthfully I have no idea what he teaches.” Akaashi answers and pointedly looks into Tsukishima’s eyes. “Would you tell me?”

 

“Did you get a new phone?” Tsukishima just noticed, despite watching the chat explode in his notifications. “You used to have that flip-phone, right?” Akaashi nodded. “Yeah, I got a new number. Did you try to contact me?”

 

“Uh, no.” Tsukishima laughs awkwardly at Akaashi’s intense gaze. “I just noticed. That’s all.”

 

“You avoided my question.” Tsukishima waves sweet-smiling girl over and he gives her an apologetic smile. “Could I have a to-go box please for my cake? Thank you!”

 

“Tsukishima.”

 

“Yes Akaashi?” He hums distractedly, for he is too busy scraping the uneaten shortcake into the box and wrapping some napkins around the coffee cup. 

 

“Are you in a relationship?” Tsukishima stops what he is doing and looks at Akaashi and the little nagging voice in his mind goes “oh”.

 

Because Akaashi looks sad. His eyes are staring into Tsukishima’s deep ones, but they’re shaking and they look scared of Tsukishima. Why would Akaashi be scared of him? If anything, he’s more scared of Akaashi-

 

“No.” He says slowly. “I’m not dating anybody.”

 

A while ago, Tsukishima thought he could read Akaashi’s blank face. But now, he realizes, he never really did. Akaashi’s face is a mixture of something indescribable - like hope and yet sorrow all at once? Tsukishima bitterly wants to hit himself for being unable to decipher what happened behind those pretty eyes, for not being intuitive like they knew him to be.

 

“I, uh-” Suddenly, maybe because Akaashi’s face is messing with him, he tries to justify himself. “-I mean, I haven’t really thought about dating. Like. Ever.” 

  
  
  


  1. _You need to stop blurting out things you don’t mean to say._ ** _Think before you speak._**



  
  
  


“Uh, what I mean, is that I’m...more focused on my career. More than relationships. I’m focused. On college. So no, I’m not dating nor do I really have intention of-”

 

“Okay, okay. Tsukishima.”

 

Tsukishima is sure that his face resembles a bright red cherry, and looks up from his lap mid-rant. His eyes meet with Akaashi’s and he is bombarded with a sudden wave of despair.

 

He panics because he can’t read Akaashi’s eyes. At all. Not like he could, almost two years ago.

 

“I get it.” He gives Tsukishima a small smile, then waves sweet-smiling girl over. “I’ll have what he’s having.” He points to Tsukishima’s mocha. The girl goes back to the counter, and Akaashi turns back to Tsukishima with a yearning? look (he wouldn’t know, since he can’t read him anymore). “Won’t you stay for a little bit?” He asks in a bit of an imploring manner. There, Tsukishima can tell some of his emotion through Akaashi’s voice. Akaashi’s voice is very delicate. Very fragile yet woven of strong glass fibers at the same time. But with every shake seems to make his strong glass fibers shake.

 

Tsukishima wants to drown himself in shortcake and die because he doesn’t like how his poetic and philosophical side comes out when he’s talking about Akaashi’s voice.

 

Tsukishima hasn’t left yet and Akaashi apparently takes it that he’s going to stay.

 

“So, tell me - how’s being a captain like?”

 

Tsukishima blinks and after a moment, sighs. Whatever. He might as well enjoy whatever it is that life has decided to thrown at him now.

 

“It’s a hard life. Would you believe me if I told you our third years are worse than they were as first years?”

 

“I don’t doubt it for a second. Hinata and his partner, right?”

 

“Yeah. Lover.”

 

“No way. Did they really?”

 

“Yeah, with the spelled out volleyballs and all. It was horrific.”

 

“I’m sure it was sweet.”

 

“I wanted to throw up afterwards.”

 

“But you didn’t.” Yeah, he didn’t. Tsukishima doesn’t throw up. (Hinata and Kageyama have tested it. He just doesn’t.)

 

“Well, I wanted to.”

 

“What good is a sick captain?”

 

“I don’t get sick even if I wanted to.”

 

“I’m trying to undermine you, and it’s not working.”

 

“A-plus for effort.”

 

Akaashi giggles and  _ no _ Tsukishima’s heart does  _ not _ soar. “Thanks.” He says and sweet-smiling girl comes by with Akaashi’s green-tea mocha and the dam is broken and waves of stories and words break through both their souls and out into the air.

 

They spend way too long in the corner of the little store. Sometimes when Akaashi is talking about a class and it’s ridiculous shenanigans, Tsukishima will find himself watching his phone - it was 5:36 when he last remembered checking the time - explode with notifications from that same group chat. The ringer is off, but he’s drawn to the lit up screen over and over again.

 

(He can’t read well upside down, but there are a lot of capitalized long blocks of text and crying emojis - so he has a pretty good idea of who’s in that chat.)

 

But Tsukishima finds that even though the names  _ Kuroo _ and  _ Bokuto _ are dropped lightly here and there, Akaashi steers clear of talking about what really happened between the four of them two years ago.

 

And Tsukishima doesn’t say it, but he is thankful. Truth be told, he missed Akaashi. A little bit. He missed the way he gently smiled, the pretty eyes, and the delicate hands nursing warm green-tea mochas. Akaashi’s conversations were always pleasant and comfortable, inviting Tsukishima to talk about his past two years more than he probably shared with Akiteru during his emo phase as a first year in high school. And it was nice for once, to let go of who he usually was, to slip into the shoes of somebody else that Akaashi appreciated and wanted to talk to. It was nice for Akaashi to take control for a little while as if he knew that was exactly what Tsukishima needed at the moment.

 

So time flies, and Tsukishima lets it be. They drink green-tea mochas again and again, and Tsukishima pulls out the shortcake from the to-go box and they eat. Hours must past and all the two have done is talk, just talk and talk and talk. 

 

Tsukishima gives Akaashi a detailed run-down of how unproductive their volleyball practices can go sometimes when Hinata and Kageyama get distracted. Akaashi performs a scene where Bokuto showed up at the college to pick up Akaashi in his gym clothes which some girl “accidentally” ripped off, revealing Bokuto’s everything and his zebra-patterned underwear (Tsukishima chokes again, but this time it was out of pure hysteria). Tsukishima fights back with tales of Yamaguchi and Yachi’s rocky awkward dates with him as the third-wheel (Akaashi loses his cool at the duel between Yamaguchi and a seven year old for the honor of besting the claw machine in the arcade). Akaashi finally kills Tsukishima with a horrifying tale of Kuroo, Bokuto, and five different litters of puppies to dog-sit in their shared apartment. (Akaashi makes Tsukishima promise to bring it up if he ever sees the two so Akaashi can make the guilt they feel last forever - and despite his hesitation, Tsukishima promises.)

 

And before they know it, Tsukishima looks at Akaashi’s still-recieving-text-messages phone, and sees that it’s 6:40 pm.

 

“Oh no.” He checks his own phone to see if it’s a cruel joke and it’s not. He has to hurry. Akaashi notices and asks “What’s wrong?”

 

“My train leaves at 7:00. Shit.” Tsukishima swears, getting up and putting his jacket on quickly, and gathering his stuff. He looks out of the corner of his eye and is surprised that Akaashi is doing the same. “What are you doing?” Tsukishima can’t help but ask, hands moving on his own to make sure he has everything. All of a sudden, Akaashi is ready to go. He gives Tsukishima a weird but fond look (in the hours they’ve spent staring into each other's eyes, Tsukishima thinks that he can read Akaashi a little better now). “Um, leaving? C’mon. If we hurry, we can take a shortcut past the crowd.”

 

Tsukishima follows Akaashi out of the shop _definitely_ **_not_** with puppy eyes or anything, and the two wave to the sweet-smiling girl and her friends behind the counter, who wave back and erupt into squeals again as the door shuts.

  
  


  1. _Akaashi is cool. Akaashi makes you comfortable._ ** _Maybe, you can let Akaashi back in._**



  
  


Tsukishima continues to trail next to Akaashi, but at the same time watches the city descend into nighttime. Store lights start to flicker on and tall metropolitan skyscrapers loom with bright neon signs and billboards. As it gets darker, the electric lights get brighter and Tsukishima appreciates it much more than Akaashi probably does. So it’s a good thing that he’s following Akaashi, because with his focus, the two get to the station in five minutes. 

 

Tsukishima expects Akaashi to leave anytime now, but he doesn’t want to be the first to say goodbye. So he takes his ticket and they walk through the station and before they know it, in silence they arrive at the platform where the train back to Miyagi is supposed to be. 

 

The electronic billboard in the middle of the platform says the train is five minutes late.

 

“Oh.” Tsukishima breathes, and Akaashi laughs a little. “We rushed for nothing.” Tsukishima muses, and Akaashi smiles. “Yeah we did. But hey, now you know a shortcut from that place to here.”

 

“Yeah. I guess I do.”

 

“They had good drinks, didn’t they? I think I’ll take Kuroo there. He’d like it a lot, do you think?” 

 

Tsukishima is feeling the effect of the hours before wearing off slowly. Now without the safety of green-tea mocha in his hands and the warmth from the little shop, he’s retracting back into himself, back to his useless self of things-to-do lists and skills in avoiding people and all his worries and insecurities.

 

“Yeah.” He mumbles, and all of a sudden Akaashi notices. 

 

“Tsukishima.” He says and Tsukishima looks at him. Akaashi is pretty. His eyes and face are pretty and his long coat that covers Kuroos sweater makes him look pretty with his jeans that he must be cold standing outside in. (Although it’s not like Tsukishima was dressed any warmer)

 

“Today was really nice.” Akaashi starts. Tsukishima smiles a little. It was nice. “Yes,” He agrees. “I really enjoyed myself.”

 

“So did I.” Akaashi says truthfully. “But then I’m going to go home after this, and Bokuto will be waiting for me, and I will tell him what I did today.”

 

Tsukishima’s throat is tight. 

 

Akaashi can hear a train incoming in the distance, but without hesitation he says “Bokuto is going to be really sad that he had practice today.”

 

Tsukishima’s eyes burn, because he knows. Once Bokuto hears about this, if he loves Tsukishima in the way Tsukishima dreams about, then hearing about something like today would kill him. He would be incredibly hurt. Tsukishima’s heart pounds just from thinking about it. How can he make his heart hurt less? How can he make Bokuto’s heart hurt a little less? (Because no matter how many things-to-do lists he makes, Tsukishima still cares about the dumb bird deep down.)

 

“Akaashi, you got a new phone.” He blurts out, just as the train comes in. Akaashi looks surprised at his outburst and nods slowly. “Yes, I did. I thought we already talked about this today…?” Tsukishima thinks he’s turning red again but now people are starting to get off the train and if he’s going to do this, he’s going to either do it now or never. 

 

“Let’s exchange numbers.” Tsukishima says and Akaashi is hit with surprise, so much that he can actually see the shock in pretty eyes. 

 

Then a smile, a beautiful smile so radiant the sun would be jealous of spread widely across his face and Akaashi giggles before pulling out his phone and saying “Okay.” 

 

They exchange numbers. The last stragglers are coming off the train and new passengers are beginning to board. Tsukishima takes his phone back with Akaashi’s new number and smiles as he shoves his phone into his jacket pocket. 

 

“Okay.”

 

Akaashi smiles. “Okay. Text me when you’re in Tokyo again. We can go back to that place. Or we can do something else.”

 

Tsukishima nods. “Yeah. I will.”

 

Then after a moment, Akaashi steps forward and wraps his arms around Tsukishima who stumbles back in shock. And Akaashi hums into Tsukishima's chest and a split second after Tsukishima's arms settle around Akaashi, he pulls away with a (maybe?) brighter smile than before. “Thank you for letting me do that.” He says quickly and breathlessly and it takes a minute for Tsukishima to jolt and smile a little.

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” They both laugh a little and then the electronic voice resounds throughout the station that his train is about to leave, so Tsukishima slowly turns around and boards his train back home. He finds a window seat, and he can see Akaashi waving as the train starts moving, and he waves too. 

  
As if waving is the first step in fixing what they had two years ago? Damn, he’s nostalgic. He doesn’t know if being this sensitive is good or bad.

  
  


  1. _Try to hide your emotions some more. Who cares if you’re good at intuition?_ ** _Apparently, other people are better._**



  
  


“You seem happy.” Her voice surprises him and he flinches, though thankfully nobody on the team sees it. 

 

“They’ve been working hard.” Tsukishima replies cooly, slowly inching away from the demonic manager lady. “Hopefully, we’re going to do really well at the Inter-High prelims.” 

 

“That’s not what I’m talking about Tsukki.” He rolls his eyes at the overused nickname. Yachi had a habit of picking up slang that Yamaguchi used and Tsukki was one of the first words in the YamaYachi shared vocabulary.    
  


“Then please, do enlighten me. What are you talking about?”

 

“Is Akaashi who I think it is?”

 

Tsukishima freezes in cold blood and finally turns to Yachi who is looking at him with a determined face in place. “Stop going through my phone.” He imagines he locks her and Yamaguchi into a dumpster together (he’s mean but he’s not so mean he would lock them into individual dumpsters - he has a heart, contrary to belief). Yachi peers at him and slowly starts to smile. “Is it really? The that second year when we were first years? The one at the training camp?! He was there at training camp too last year! You’ve never talked about him! I had no idea!!!”

 

Tsukishima groans and turns his attention back to the team doing stretches. His legs hurt, even though he was the one who said today would be running day. Being captain is exhausting sometimes, he remembers telling Akaashi and he remembers Akaashi’s laugh when he said that and his unanimous agreement…

 

“Is he okay?”

 

“He’s dreaming about Akaashi-senpai! Yama-chan, do you remember him?”

 

“Ohh, the Akaashi from Fukurodani? He’s a year older than us, right?”

 

“Yes! And he and Tsukki have been texting each other a lot!! There have been phone calls that last longer than 10 minutes too-”

 

“Yachi!” She squeaks and stands to attention at Tsukishima’s pissed off tone. “I believe you need to start looking around for a new manager to continue Karasuno’s legend, am I correct?”

 

Yachi deflated for a moment, and Tsukishima briefly wonders if he hit a little too close to home, before she gives him a bright smile and waves to him and the rest of the team, skipping out of the gym and closing the door.

 

He sighs in relief, his headache receding a little, but then “That was a little harsh.” He sighs and starts to make his way over to the storage room to pull out the volleyball carts. “I’ll apologize to your girlfriend later. I have a headache.”

 

Yamaguchi follows him and says a simple “Okay.” and thankfully, says nothing more. But Hinata runs into the room and jumps into Tsukishima’s face. “How was your week-long trip to Tokyo?” The short orange-haired freak was smiling but his voice dripped with sarcasm laced with venom.

 

“It was wonderful. Please move, you’re blocking my way.”

 

“Do you want to hear how our week went?” Kageyama’s annoying voice from the entrance of the doorway had only gotten deeper and more annoying over the years and though Tsukishima could pretty much ignore it by now at will, he was attacked in this tiny storage room, with no way to escape. 

 

Regardless, Tsukishima feigns ignorance. “Oh, right! You said some old Nekoma alumni came over to practice right? It must’ve been an exciting break for you guys-”

 

“Why didn't you come? We weren't bad but the first and second years needed their captain. We could've done much better if you had been there.” Hinata says flatly, contrary to his usual kind and energetic tone, losing the smile immediately. Something bad must've happened, Tsukishima realizes with a sickening feeling. 

 

“I'm sorry.” He mumbles. He can sense Kageyama shaking his head. “Don't tell us, tell your team.”

 

Hinata looks angry. “But first, you can explain to us what's happening between you and Kuroo-senpai.” 

 

“Eh?” Now Tsukishima looked at Hinata with a confused look. “What about him? I haven't talked to that guy in like, two years.”

 

“Really? Because he was sure as hell interested in why you weren't in Miyagi the entire week.” Tsukishima didn’t know what to say. He had spent the rest of his break inside his house, catching up on homework and hanging out with his parents. He had avoided going outside on purpose.

 

Despite himself, Tsukishima asks “What do you mean, he was interested? What did he say?”

 

“Nothing.” Kageyama spat. Tsukishima whirled around to his scowling face. “He said nothing when he found out you weren’t here, and he essentially made their team lose a bunch of matches. He was distracted. And he told us nothing.” Angry Kageyama marched up to Tsukishima, now nearly the same height as each other, and grabbed his shirt and pulled him in close.

 

“This isn’t about volleyball anymore.” He snarled. “This is about you keeping secrets from us, your friends. If you’ve ever even thought of us that way.”

 

Tsukishima was speechless as Kageyama let go of his shirt, pushing him back a little, before shaking his head and grabbing a cart of balls to wheel out. Hinata followed, ignoring Tsukishima. But then, Yamaguchi grabbed a cart too and started to make his way out. As he passed by a stunned Tsukishima, he murmured “You didn’t tell me why you were going to Tokyo last week.”

 

Tsukishima snaps out it, for a split second. “No, I told you! After practice, walking home together!”

 

Yamaguchi doesn’t even hesitate in shaking his head. “I think you spend too much time in your own head. You never told me a thing.”

 

With that final jab to his headache, Yamaguchi left the storage room, leaving Tsukishima alone. 

 

In the temporary silence, he sniffles a little before rubbing his forehead a little and going back into the open gym.

 

Practice resumes as usual. Though before practice ends, he calls a meeting to apologize for his absences last week. One student asked why, and Tsukishima sighs before saying “I was busy with schoolwork and the future. But I will not allow it to distract me from my role as your captain in the future.” The first and second years had clapped. Although the third years still seemed somewhat pissed, Tsukishima gives them the look that means he’ll tell them the truth (somewhat) later over pork buns. 

 

Therefore, Tsukishima’s headache recedes to a dull throb and the usual excitement to reach his phone after practice is restrained by doubts a little.

  
  


  1. _Prepare yourself for the worst outcomes of a situation, so that the fall will hurt_ ** _a little less_** _with reality already in your mind._



  
  


  1. _Also stop being so_ ** _fucking_** _poetic, it's weird._



  
  


Usually, the Student Culture Exchange Program sent official letters back to applicants concerning whether they made the program or not. The letters were sent after a month, because they were usually very brief with their grading of the interviews and so that the students accepted would have enough time to prepare or back out in advance to the late-spring/summer long trip.

 

Tsukishima got a text message exactly three weeks after his interview in Tokyo requesting that he come back for next weekend to meet with three different interviewers on each day. 

 

He had received the text message as he was sitting his room, listening to music on his computer and writing down aimless things to do lists in his notebook.

 

He had dropped his pencil and stared blankly at the text notification on his phone screen.

 

Minutes later, he’s in his contacts, and he’s scrolling through his list of friends - but he can’t find anybody he trusts himself to rant to. (What’s the point of having friends and numbers if you don’t trust them enough to call them? Tsukishima wants to kick himself.)

 

Then his fingers stop moving. He could...call him. He could and it would be fine right? It was kind of late, so hopefully he wasn’t still in class, but...he wouldn’t mind right?

 

He presses call before he can think anything else. He’s been feeling pretty daring lately.

 

After a moment or two, he picks up and Tsukishima goes off.

 

“Hi. It’s me. Remember when we met a month ago, and you told me you recognized the teacher I was talking to but had no idea what he taught? Well, I’m not really sure what he teaches either, but he is the interviewer for the college’s student culture exchange program, and I was there that day for my first and what should have been my only interview.”

 

Tsukishima takes a deep breath and is pretty sure that he’s going to start hyperventilating.

 

“But I just got a text from that guy saying he needs me back in Tokyo next weekend for three more interviews, one each day. I’m exhausted. I don’t even know why. But actually, now that I’m talking about it, I don’t think it’s exhaustion more than it’s actual nervousness, because I won’t be able to get into the program if these three interviews change everything, which will ruin everything I’ve been working for these past two years.” 

 

After a moment of heavy breathing, Tsukishima closes his eyes. “I’m sorry for ranting.”

 

“No, it’s fine.”

 

Tsukishima’s eyes fly open, and he’s frozen to the core.

 

“So that’s why you were in Tokyo. Akaashi didn’t tell us any details about that day, you know, so me and Kuroo had to speculate a little. Well, a lot.”

 

If Tsukishima wasn’t having a panic crisis right now, he would note that Bokuto’s voice was really calm compared to how he spoke the last time they talked. Granted, two years had passed and he was now a college student and professional volleyball player but Tsukishima still thought the dumb birds personality came from the always-present energy in his voice. 

 

“Hello? Tsukki?”

 

He coughs. “Everybody calls me that, find a better nickname.”

 

“Really? But Tsukki is like, legendary!”

 

“Everybody on the team thinks they have the right to call me that, except for Hinata and Kageyama-”

 

“Hinata’s still playing?! Awesome!! I’ll come down and tell him all about professional volleyball up in the big leagues! How have you guys done in the past two years?”

 

“We win a lot. I don’t keep track.”

 

“But, aren’t you like the secretary or something? I expected behavior like that from a captain not...oh. My. God.”

 

Despite himself, Tsukishima finds himself grinning a little. “What? Are you surprised?”

 

“Are you...Tsukishima Kei, the scary first year who didn’t love volleyball-” Tsukishima rolls his eyes. “-actually the captain of Karasuno?!”

 

“Yeah I am.” 

 

“Why do you say it so nonchalantly?!” Bokuto is laughing, and it’s a pure glorious sound that Tsukishima keeps falling in love with over and over and over again.

 

“What do you mean? It’s just position of a captain. I keep my team up in spirits and run practice. Other than that, our success is built on each individual's dedication and hard work-”

 

“God, I’m so proud of you.” Tsukishima stops short. He can tell through Bokuto’s voice that he’s smiling. “Tsukki, that’s amazing. It really is.”

 

Tsukishima takes in these words, and in silence, he _blushes_. _So_ **_hard_**. 

 

“T-thanks. Uh…” He wants to kick himself for stuttering. Really? He’s going to be a college student next year, he needs to stop acting like he’s crushing on guys for the first time. 

 

“Oh, and sorry for picking up the phone by the way. Akaashi is in the shower, and Kuroo’s out, and I was just sitting on the couch watching TV you know? And from Akaashi’s bag I heard his phone ringing, so I pulled it out to ignore it, but like to see who called just in case it was important - but then I saw it was you calling, and I’m sorry that I answered.”

 

Tsukishima’s eyes are wide open and his heart feels like it’s about to stop. He almost wants to tell Bokuto to stop talking so he can calm down but his voice doesn’t seem to work properly at the moment.

 

“I…” Bokuto sighs. “I know, that you’ve probably wanted to forget about us, which is most likely why you’ve ignored us for the past two years. And I know that meeting Akaashi was an accident, and now you’re kind of back into our lives so it might be too much for you...but I want you to know that we miss you. We miss you checking in. And uh, I know you want the least amount of contact with us as you can, which is why you avoided Kuroo all week when he was in Miyagi. So I...uh, I’m sorry for picking up the phone to talk to you. And rambling. Sorry.”

 

Tsukishima is shaking and he’s very close to tears. He doesn’t trust himself to speak, so his mouth stays closed.

 

“Tsukki? Hello?”

 

He wants to say something, but a choked sound comes out in instead. “Tsukki, are you okay? Hello?”

 

He coughs, trying to fight back these tears, and stutters “Y-yeah, I’m fine.”

 

“Okay, thank god. Akaashi would kill me for killing you.”

 

“I don’t doubt that.”

 

Bokuto chuckled and a warmth buzzed throughout his body. “Anyways, so not to intrude or anything, but you’re coming to Tokyo next weekend?”

 

“Yeah…” “Do you have a place to stay at?”

 

Tsukishima freezes, no way was he going to offer their place to stay at, he couldn't do that, he couldn’t handle that so quickly, so soon-

 

“Uhhh-”

 

“Here, wait just a second. Let me pull out my laptop and find a good place.”

 

Bokuto really never fails to surprise him. “Wait, what?”

 

“I know all these great hotel deals with super nice rooms and stuff. I know you’re only coming for just a weekend, but hey, might as well stay in a good place for cheap.” 

 

Tsukishima thinks he must resemble a fish. “You don’t have to do that. I have my laptop in front of me.” He manages to get out. “Nah, I know what I'm looking for. Met this other guy in class whose dad is a huge hotel chain owner all throughout Japan, and our team stayed at their Tokyo location once and it was great. The guys awesome too, and we’re friends so he gives me discounts in exchange for volleyball match tickets.” He laughs and Tsukishima furrows his eyebrows.

 

“Why would you need hotel discounts if you live in Tokyo? And if your team pays for your hotels on away games?” 

 

Bokuto makes a noncommittal noise. “Tsukki, I'm still a college student. I'm broke as hell.”

 

Tsukishima snorts. “Right. I forgot for a moment you're just a regular college student.” He says dryly. “Really regular volleyball pro all-ride sports scholarship college student-”

 

“Hey, hey, hey, we get the point.” Bokuto is cracking up and Tsukishima's heart is in pure ecstasy. “You know, I think I'm pretty regular.” Bokuto muses after a moment, and Tsukishima thinks  _ no you are anything but regular _ as Bokuto starts to ramble off hotel deals for 50% off or more.

  
  


  1. _Deny dates. Even though they're hot and you're sort of in love with them, deny anything and everything. (_ ** _At least, until you know for sure._** _)_



  
  


Tsukishima gets off the train in a bigger coat this time and internally curses himself because what the hell - it's warmer. 

 

He wanders through the station, trying to see if fate will guide him to the hotel he and Bokuto finally decided upon, but gives up after walking aimlessly for a while and pulls out his phone, looking through his bag which contains a lot of junk, including his most recent crumpled list of things to do (which he has suddenly taken a liking to carrying around with him).

 

There are two missed calls from an unknown number, and after the number tries to call again, Tsukishima picks up.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Behind you.”

 

He turns around and almost drops his phone. Kuroo hangs up and walks forward, coming face-to-face with Tsukishima for the first time in two years.

 

“Hey.” Kuroo smiles a little, and it’s like nothings changed. Kuroo’s smile is still the same and his eyes still have the same cat-like intensity-grabbing hold, and he probably got taller, that always-growing bastard. 

 

Tsukishima swallows thickly. “Hi.” He says courteously. He doesn’t even question what’s going to happen next. “Are you going to be my guide today?” He asks, and Kuroo nods with a happy grin on his face. “C’mon, we’re going to go meet the others first though.”

 

_ Great _ , Tsukishima thinks as Kuroo starts to walk off and he quickly follows him in the crowded station.  _ It’ll be a party. _

 

They meet the others in a coffee place near the station. Akaashi is sitting at a booth, and waves the two over. 

 

Kuroo slides in next to Akaashi first, so Tsukishima sits on the other side and nods at Akaashi across from him. (He shamelessly watches Akaashi and Kuroo share a quick kiss but quickly averts his eyes when they break apart.)

 

“We’re just waiting for Bokuto to finish practice.” Akaashi smiles at Tsukishima, who gives him a small smile back. “Wanna order something to drink while we wait?”

 

“Sure.” 

 

It’s quiet. The low hum of the semi-busy coffee place is comfortable, and in gaps of silence, the three of them make easy conversation, laughing at a funny story or complaining about college classes. Tsukishima finds that it’s actually...really nice. Almost nicer than his day with Akaashi, because today Kuroo was here and talking and Akaashi was smiling and the two’s good mood seemed too infectious for Tsukishima to resist any longer.

 

And that’s how Bokuto finds the three, all smiling in high spirits, drinking coffee (except for Kuroo, who’s drinking tea because he’s “hipster” and Akaashi punches him a little).

 

The door opens and Tsukishima sees a very tall, athletic man walk in with fluffy owl-like hair (probably just dried from a shower) and a college hoodie over a t-shirt with jeans walk in. “Hey guys.” Bokuto smiles and drops into the seat next to Tsukishima. “Seems like everyone’s in a good mood.” Akaashi smiles at him and Kuroo pulls him in for a quick kiss before passing him a menu. 

 

Maybe it’s because Bokuto is here now, and it’s the four of them. The four of them, sitting in a booth in Tokyo, so similar and yet so different from the four of them in the 3rd gym from that one training camp two years ago. Maybe it’s because Bokuto has been so nice and honest with him as always, and Akaashi has been so kind and open, and Kuroo hasn’t done anything to piss him off particularly yet - that he feels the need to ask “What are we doing?”

 

The friendly chatter between the three stop and they all look at Tsukishima with wide eyes. Even in the past 30 minutes, Tsukishima has easily remembered how to read each one of their faces (well, he’s having a little difficulty with Kuroo, but no one needs to know that).

 

Akaashi looks into his soul kindly. “What do you mean by that?”

 

He blushes a little at the intense stare the other’s are giving him. “I mean, why did all three of you come here today?”

 

Bokuto seemed unsure of where this conversation would lead to - he peers at Tsukishima oddly. “Well, the three of us are in a relationship. We live together. We all happened to have the same lunch slash free time together.” 

 

“I understand that, but I...I don’t understand why you’ve all come here today. Right now. Right here.”

 

Kuroo leans forward a little bit, gazing deeply into Tsukishima’s eyes. “I think you know the answer to that already Tsukki.” Tsukishima frowns at Kuroo’s expectant look. “I really don’t.” He sighs. “And please find me a better nickname than Tsukki.”

 

Bokuto and Kuroo both ask why and he starts to go off on how it’s so unoriginal and uncreative, and the three of them are kind of arguing now, all while Akaashi serenely watches while sipping his coffee.

 

After more arguing, Tsukishima turns to Akaashi. “Will you find me a new nickname for these idiots to call me?”

 

“Hey!” “We are not idiots!”

 

Akaashi smiles, and it’s so full of happiness that all the stress and will to argue leaves the other three’s bodies. “Yeah, I’ll come up with something on our next date.”

 

Tsukishima should really stop choking whenever they surprise him because it’s probably going to become a regular thing now. Even Bokuto and Kuroo look a little surprised at Akaashi’s bluntness. 

 

“This is-?!” Tsukishima starts, and Akaashi laughs a little. “Really, how could this not be a date.” Now Bokuto and Kuroo are snickering and Tsukishima is feeling a little attacked. 

 

“Nonono, this isn’t a date.” He’s trying to backpedal so hard right now. “I never agreed to a date. This is not a date.”

 

Kuroo smirked. “You followed me even though you didn’t have to. You have google maps. You could’ve found the hotel easy-peasy.” He sing-songs and Tsukishima feels like an idiot.    
  


Bokuto seems to sense his discomfort and smiles kindly at him. “It’s kind of a date, but you don’t have to treat it like it’s the end of the world. We’re just hanging out.” 

 

“Right.” Tsukishima says slowly. Four guys. Just hanging out. 

 

Bokuto and Kuroo start to push the salt back and forth between them trying to see who can push it the farthest without letting it fall over the edge. (Tsukishima feels little bit like that salt.)

 

“Anyways, when’s your first interview?” Akaashi asks, and Tsukishima accepts his fate yet again. “Um, tomorrow in the morning and another one in the afternoon. Then there’s one last interview on Sunday. I’m going back to Miyagi that night.”

 

Akaashi nods. “Well good luck. I'm sure you don't need it but…” He trails off and Tsukishima finds it in himself to smile gratefully at him. 

 

And somehow...with that, they lose themselves. They lose their doubts and worries and their lists of things to do. Tsukishima laughs and relieves his stress, and Akaashi quietly giggles and kind. Kuroo is his usual smart-witted self, and Bokuto throws his head back when he laughs to make his points loud and clear.

 

It’s nice, and it’s so nice that Tsukishima goes into his bag, and discreetly crumples up his list even more and stuffs the paper into his pocket. 

 

He didn’t finish his list, as always. But he thinks...it’s probably fine if he doesn’t finish this specific list.

 

  
There was always other ways to improve his life.

 

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are always appreciated!! thanks so much for reading and i hope you enjoyed this stupid sack of procrastination. please comment if you have any questions, or hmu on my blog @oceanrosiex <3
> 
> the next chapter will hopefully be up soon! (comments help speed up the process a lot haha)


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